Women should be getting information about men from the source-directly. Many ladies will talk to girlfriends, mothers, next door ladies or read relationship advice off the web, but majority would not bother discussing things with their partner in order to get things straight. Below are ten things that are not “mean”, rather they would help bridge the gap between men and women if women found out that the former think this way is not being written by the “direct source” but the basis of this piece of writing is a talk that the author of “Brothers, Lust & Love: Thoughts on Manhood, Sex and Romance” had with a couple of guys.
10 Things That Would Drive Your Husband Away
1. Be Who You Are
Men want to trust the woman that they think they know. When they see their lady batting her lashes on dates, smiling and looking sexy-they want it to go on even when the relationship gets going. Obviously, a woman is not ‘superwoman’ who would cook, clean, look flawless and make perfect love but she should atleast try to maintain the aura that surrounded her when she first met the man. There is nothing worse than the feeling of being had for a man who sees the girl change afterwards so don’t pretend to be what you aren’t.
2. Trust Your Man by Giving him Space
If he is not with the lady every minute doesn’t necessarily mean that he is fooling around. Yes, that is a fact and if a woman can’t seem to accept it because of trust issues then she doesn’t need that man anyway. All men aren’t angels though and some would use the “I need space,” phrase to fool around without losing what they have. Still, every human being needs to get away from the daily grind of life at some point and being with friends gives both men and women an opportunity to do so. So don’t be another mom for your man. Remember Melissa from “The Hangover”? Yes, that is exactly what I mean.
3. Respect and Value your Provisions
Not every man can afford a Lexus, a double story house in the suburbs and a line of credit cards. Yet, most of the good men would respect their ladies, provide for them and try to be grateful about it. If a woman keeps nagging him about being complacent and lacking ambition-it won’t help “growing” money especially if he is trying hard enough. Sometimes, yes, that little nudge is important but women should do it respectfully while keeping in mind that they already are getting a fair share of the results of their man’s hard work.
See Also: Top 10 Weirdest Wedding Couples Ever.
4. Men are not Psychics
This should actually be on top of the list because every woman thinks that their man should be able to understand what they mean without them having to say it. Ladies, please know that men are not psychics in general, and honestly, would you even like him to know ‘everything’ that goes on in your mind? Many couples suffer from communication breakdowns because of an innate difference between the two genders. Women are more receptive to body language, expressions, gestures and inflection and I hate to break it that men are not. For example, a woman saying, “No I don’t mind you leaving me on the weekend and going to the movies with your friends,” with her arms crossed, the body stiff and foot tapping definitely means the opposite of what she is saying. Men will not understand this while ladies expect them to read minds. A woman should therefore be open and honest with the man and not rely on implications.
See Also: 10 Unusual and Strange Wedding Ceremonies.
5. The Badness and Boredom in Sex and Intimacy
Let’s be straight about it-sex is important and probably more important to men then it is to women. It can be boring, bad and battle-like. Men can tend to complain about sex more openly because it is more important to them. Lack of technique, lack of passion, no creativity or enthusiasm are common complaints though there may be proper reasons behind these problems. Sometimes it’s religion, ethics, psychological pressure or health that is keeping the woman hesitant. Nobody is a vampire holding things back like Edward Cullen because he might hurt his partner so let’s be open and honest about sexual dysfunction. Resort to therapy and counselling if necessary and discuss things with your sexual partner openly.
See Also: Top 10 Things Couples Fight About.
6. Constantly Talking About Other Men
Men can have fragile egos and though it is not always about prestige-a man likes to feel special and important when it comes to his partner.When a woman keeps talking about some other guy at work, at school or in the neighbourhood; it can be disturbing. The solution to this may not necessarily be cradling him in your arms or patronizing all the time but creating a balance between sharing thoughts for the day and caring for his feelings is certainly going to be helpful. If he says something like, “Why do you keep talking about XYZ all the time?”, then that should ring a bell.
See Also: 10 Signs That You Are A Happy Couple.
7. Being Overly Dramatic a.k.a Drama Queen
If you are doing the following then you are a drama queen: always trying to get and control the man’s attention, nagging, moaning and whining over petty issues and panicking over things like a leaking faucet. A drama queen is always sending out an S.O.S signal and initially the man feels good at rescuing the damsel in distress like a chivalrous knight but as time passes, the most loyal of the knights might find it easier to ride out into the sunset. Using your emotional appeal to grab his attention may work sometimes, but not always. Don’t ask him to throw the trash out when he is watching football on T.V. Do not whine about things that may not be worth moaning about.
8. Playing Cold and Hard
Cold and hard attitude can drive anyone away and for someone who is working hard and trying to provide for you, it can be a heart-breaker. Men have feelings too and yes, their hearts can break (as incredulous as it sounds, it is but true!). If women tend to be disrespectful and cool, behaving like their man is not even present in the room-it will either end up in a breakup or a divorce. The home is a sanctuary for someone who works hard all day long and if it appears to be colder than the outside world, men would prefer to stay outside.
See Also; Top 10 Things to do After a Breakup.
Cheating doesn’t necessarily mean having an affair outside your relationship. It can be anything deceptive and manipulative. Most women maintain that a cheating wife or female partner is the fault of the man however, I can safely say that both genders are fairly human and susceptible to flaws and faults equally. Both men and women can succumb to pressure on an equal basis. There is a mental form of cheating that involves manipulating the cheque book or getting over on the man. Depriving him of his energy, creativity and potential through playing games is also called cheating.
See Also: Best Ways to Fix Problems of Married Life.
10. Power Struggle
Many men would admit that having a wife or partner with a better job, more money and more beauty is of no problem to them rather the problem is the woman’s tendency to flaunt these things in order to appear superior in the relationship. Do you disagree with your man for the sake of disagreement? Check. Do you let him down in public deliberately by making sure that you “look” smarter even if you aren’t? Check. Do you cut down his personal thoughts and opinions? Check. Are you unnecessarily rude? Check. Sorry to say this dear but you are engaged in a power struggle if you have checked all these points. Men are usually not interested in competing with their mate and they don’t bother if their wife drives a car that is more expensive. You want to beat him at something? Beat him at compassion, at giving and at being nice.
See Also: 10 Interesting Ways to Say I Love You.
The list above might offend a few ladies out there but friends, it is coming from a lady itself so there is definitely some weightage here. There is little relationship advice that comes from the perspective of your opponent as most of your friends and peers would speak out of a biased and feminist point of view. Now that you have it, use it to make the best of your relationship. Good luck!
Written By: Wardah Maaz